Hey ladies so my story is . . . Im a college student Im 19 will be 20 in October baby is due 12/12. I understand I got pregnant at a young age but I am halfway to getting my degree in my eyes Ive done a lot better than people who got pregnant in high school (not knocking them though). I feel people look down on me like oh your a young mom you need to be married and need to have a degree already. Im so over people stating these things to me its like don't you think I know that. That doesn't mean just because I am pregnant (unplanned) I'm gonna just get rid of my baby just because of how hard it will be no thats not me. Me and my boyfriend are still together have been for a while now and we are both excited for the new arrival. Working on getting a place together everything is going good and coming together. I know tons of successful people who were young moms and single ones at that.
Bottom line . . .
I just want to know how to get over the judgement and the feeling that everyone is just waiting for me to fall flat on my face? I know I may be getting too emotional about it because of the pregnancy I can't help it.
Any moms that went through this or going through it how do y'all deal with it?
Re: Getting Over Being Judge. . . Vent + Advice Needed
But to everyone else I straight up ignore them. It's exhausting getting judged. But the way I see it being married, being great parents, and having a degree are 3 totally separate factors. They used to go hand in hand, but these days they just dont.
Hang in there!!
Plus when you do get married your child will get to experience that special moment with you. That is AMAZING in my eyes.
I'm 21, married, and 12 weeks. It doesn't matter if you are married or not, people are still very cruel. We get a lot of nasty comments from people, but who cares! As long as you and your SO are happy, that's all that matters.
@QueenCarlissa I got married at 18 and welcomed our first daughter at 18. People judged whether you're having a baby young or in your 30s. No way we will ever be able to satisfy everyone. We are now having our fourth and last baby. I am 22 and my husband is 25 (guess we were too eager to complete our family!). My own family didn't believe that I could do it, but I enrolled in full-time college. I was taking weekend classes, online classes, night classes... you name it. It would knock me down when my aunts would make fun of me and call me stupid for over doing myself.
I knew I could do it and I did. I graduated this past May with my degree in Health Information Management. The list of facilities I can work for are endless. My goal is to manage a hospital and be a successful business woman. I only invited those that truly supported me to my graduation which included my daughters, husband, parents, and in laws. I graduated with honors and recognitions, but most of all with the knowledge that I can do anything I set my mind to.
My point is, I did it even when people tried to discourage me and with three kids. It wasn't easy, but it's not impossible either. Don't let what people tell you affect you. You're strong and have your partner's support. Do it for them, but mostly do it for yourself. Let the negativity from those people be your encouragement and drive to prove them wrong.
Not going to lie, it's been a lot of work for her, but it sounds like you aren't afraid of that.
She can't imagine going through the sleepless nights and such at our age and I couldn't have done what she did at her age. But we all turned out fine. Different strokes for different folks.
It really sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you'll be fine. Keep it up.
Yesss!!! People will always say judgey shit. My mom and grandma both had trouble conceiving (it took my mom 10 years, and my grandma long enough that she adopted before she got pregnant) so I went off birth control right after I got married (this past January) thinking it would just happen when it happened. And it happened to take about a month and a half. We were surprised but delighted but I keep getting creepy "you two didn't waste any time" and "that must have been one hell of a honey moon". It doesn't seem that offensive once I put it in writing ...but I'm hormonal and I'm annoyed.
The truth of the matter is, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about you. What matters most is what you think about yourself. It seems to me like you are on track to be a mother, get your degree, achieve your career goals and what ever else you wish to do in this world!
In my honest opinion, there is absolutely nothing standing in your way to attaining those goals. You can go as far as you want to in life. Nobody will dictate that to you other than yourself. It might take you longer to get there. You might have to devote more time to your newborn and take your classes at a slower pace. There is also a chance that you might be graduating early. You never know until you get there so not only should you not fret too much about it, you absolutely should not care what other people think. Just prove those people wrong. Obviously it's going to hurt you when people say things to you that are insensitive. With age comes a lessening of that, but there will still be people that can hurt you. The most important thing in this world is that you know who you are and what you want. A lot of this comes with age, but a lot of it also comes with experience.
Don't let anything stand in your way sweetheart! Just stay focused on your track and you will be just fine❤️
* edited for typo
What you do, hope it all stops soon for you
Kylie M.
Baby #1 Born 12.16.2015
Baby #2 Due 7.13.2018
Please note that I do not believe any of the above, I'm just trying to explain why some people may be judgy based on my own analysis of my crazy brain
In the end, as others have said, it doesn't matter one bit what people think. As long as you are doing your best, no one have any right to point fingers.
but random stranger would make the rudest comments to me n my husband. Damn kids. Where are their parents? God, can you believe that?
:-@ ~X(
you name it, I felt it. You know what kept me going? The facts. Facts were, I was going to be a great mom no matter what. I am a survivor, no matter what. I love this baby, no matter what. Its my life, and this babies and I'm smart and i will survive, thrive and perservere.
people say stupid things to pregnant ppl no matter their age.
One thing I have learned with age, is that we do get smarter and far more patient and tolerant with age. So maybe, try to have a little mecry for those people and think that it's maybe what they've seen in their life creating concern. Some are just judging but you're always going to have that in some way, but someday you won't have to be around it if you don't want to.